XTREME QUIPS

An American tourist was walking along a London street on a windy day, when he noticed a beautiful woman walking towards him.

Suddenly, a gust of wind blew the woman’s dress up, to reveal that she was wearing no knickers.

The American, trying to sound as English as possible, said to the woman: “It’s a bit airy, isn’t it, love?”

The woman scowled and replied angrily: “What the ‘ell did you expect, feathers?”

I knew it was too good to be true!

This stop-motion video gives a little bit of a peek into what goes into the process of making these videos. And it’s a pretty decent song.

Bubblicious from Rex The Dog on Vimeo.

The show must go on, no matter whether an automatic sprinkler goes off or not. What can you do? It’s a live shot! You can laugh at him, like everyone else at the TV station.

10. Decorating the house (boarding up windows).

9. Dragging out boxes that haven’t been used since last season (camping gear, flashlights).

8. Last minute shopping in crowded stores.

7. Regular TV shows pre-empted for “specials”.

6. Family coming to stay with you.

5. Family and friends from out-of-state calling.

4. Buying food you don’t normally buy … and in large quantities.

3. Days off from work.

2. Candles.

1. And the number one reason Hurricane Season is like Christmas…At some point you know you’re going to have a tree in your house!

A young lady with a touch of hay fever took two handkerchiefs with her to the dinner party, one in her purse and the spare she kept in her bosom.

After dinner she began rummaging in her bosom for the fresh handkerchief, but it stubbornly refused to be found.

To left and to right she searched: until she realised suddenly that conversation around her had ceased and everyone was watching her in fascination. Flustered, she murmured,

“I know I had two when I came.”

There has been a lot of stop-motion post-it videos recently. You’ll love this one simulating games on the Atari.

“If the enemy is in range, so are you.” -Infantry Journal

“It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed..” -U.S. Air Force Manual

“Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.” -General MacArthur

“You, you, and you … Panic. The rest of you, come with me.” -U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt.

“Tracers work both ways.” -U.S.. Army Ordnance

“Five second fuses only last three seconds.” -Infantry Journal

“Any ship can be a minesweeper.. Once.”

“Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.” -Unknown Marine Recruit

Clean it, if it’s Dirty. Oil it, if it Squeaks. But: Don’t Screw with it, if it Works! -USAF Electronic Technician

“If you see a bomb technician running, keep up with him.” -USAF – Ammo Troop

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As they say, “monkey see, monkey do.”

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, “Pour me a stiff one – just had another fight with the little woman.”

“Oh yeah?” said Charlie, “And how did this one end?”

“When it was over,” Mike replied, “She came to me on her hands and knees.

“Really,” said Charles, “Now that’s a switch! What did she say?”

She said, “Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.”