XTREME QUIPS

Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said, “Look at that dog with one eye!”

The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, “Where?”

*****

Starbucks is reportedly adding alcohol to the menu at one of its stores.

When asked why, a spokesperson for Starbucks said, “Because sober people, in this economy, don’t pay eight bucks for a cup of coffee.”

*****

“Shhaaayyy, buddy, what’s a Breathalyzer?” asked one drunk to his friend at the next barstool.

“Well, I’d have to say it’s a bag that tells you when you’ve drunk way too much,” answered the equally wasted gent.

“Ah hell, whaddya know? I’ve been married to one of those for years and years now!”