XTREME QUIPS

- When you request sex, she replies, “Wait ’til the Nyquil kicks in.”

- Gets very upset when the ashtray falls off your ass.

- Actually answers when you ask, “Who’s your daddy?”

- Only moans during commercial breaks.

- Keeps trying to set you up with her friends.

- Runs for vacant Senate seat in New York.

- You find yourself sitting backstage at the Jerry Springer show.

- You begin to suspect she is only “playing” dead.

- Her moans of delight discovered to actually be a WAV file.

- Instead of asking to leave her shirt on, she wants to leave her pants on too.

- Keeps asking, “Are you SURE you’re not gay?”

- Holds up a picture of the Playboy centerfold to hurry you along.

- She yells out her own name.

- Bangs her head on the headboard BEFORE you begin.