XTREME QUIPS

It’s happy, for the wrong reason…

A man boarded an airplane in Sydney, Australia, with a box of crabs.

A female crew member took it and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator, which she did.

The man advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for the crabs staying frozen, and proceeded to rant and rave about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Shortly before landing, she announced to the entire cabin, “Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in Sydney, please raise your hand?”

Not one hand went up …

so she took them home and ate them herself!

Ever wondered how powerful a airplane toilet is? This video will shed some light on the matter for you…

This plane got off lucky…

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 276, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax – OH MY GOD!”

Silence.

Then, the captain came back on the intercom and said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight-attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!”

A passenger in coach said, “That’s nothing. He should see the back of mine!”

Reminds me of Soul Plane (the movie)…

The airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts, etc.

Finally, she said, “Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to your destination.”

Ed sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, “Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?”

When the attendants came by with the drink cart, he said “Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?”

“Yes,” said the attendant, “In fact, this entire crew is female.”

“My God,” said Ed, “I’d better have two scotch and sodas. I don’t know what to think with only women up there in the cockpit.”

“That’s another thing sir,” said the attendant, “We no longer call it the cock pit.”

“It’s the Box office.”

If only this was a normal plane, it would be the perfect solution.

Click to Enlarge

When you have an crucial job, it’s important to pay attention in training. Or this could happen to you…