XTREME QUIPS

Couldn’t explain it better myself!

Some betrayals are more shocking then others. In this case, its the wrong one! Watch the video until the end to find out why…

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.
~ Sam Snead

I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.
~ George Brett

Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that..
~ Jim Murray

The only sure rule in golf is – he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.
~ Mickey Mantle

Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.
~ Kevin Costner

After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye..
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
~ Brian Weis

Swing hard in case you hit it.
~ Dan Marino

My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.
~ Lord Robertson

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
~ Jack Benny

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Can you spot the ball? Didn’t think so…

1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.

2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.

3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!

4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.

5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.

6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.

7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU.

8. DON’T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.

9. QUIET PLEASE…WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.

10. DON’T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.

WELL DONE. – NOW FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, & TEE OFF

Dave stood over his tee shot on the 450 yard 18th hole for what seemed an eternity. He waggled, looked up, looked down, waggled again, but didn’t start his back swing.

Finally his exasperated partner asked, “What is taking so long?”

“My wife is watching me from the clubhouse balcony,” Dave explained. “I want to make a perfect shot.”

“Good lord,” his companion exclaimed. “You don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of hitting her from here.”

The elevation of the tee-off on this hole is 640 yards. The distance is only 310 yards. It’s a par three. Yikes! This is at Legend Golf and Safari Resort in South Africa.

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play. Normally one club and two (2) balls.

2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the holes.

3. Owner of the course must approve the equipment before play may begin.

4. For most effective play, the club must have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check the shaft stiffness before play begins.

5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict the shaft length to avoid any damage to the course.

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