XTREME QUIPS

A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event, hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for some conversation.

She said, “Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?”

“Negative, ma’am,” the Sergeant Major replied, “Just serious by nature.”

The young lady looked at his awards, medals and decorations and said, “It looks like you’ve seen quite a lot of action.”

The Sergeant Major’s short reply was, “Yes, ma’am, a lot of action.”

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, “You know, you should just lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself…”

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally, deciding to take a different tack, the young lady said, “You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?”

The Sergeant Major looked at her and curtly replied, “1955, ma’am.”

She gasped, “Well, there you are! You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! Isn’t that a little extreme?”

The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice,”Do you think so? It’s only 2130 now…”

The Taliban must be running for their lives… or maybe not!

“If the enemy is in range, so are you.” -Infantry Journal

“It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed..” -U.S. Air Force Manual

“Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.” -General MacArthur

“You, you, and you … Panic. The rest of you, come with me.” -U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt.

“Tracers work both ways.” -U.S.. Army Ordnance

“Five second fuses only last three seconds.” -Infantry Journal

“Any ship can be a minesweeper.. Once.”

“Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.” -Unknown Marine Recruit

Clean it, if it’s Dirty. Oil it, if it Squeaks. But: Don’t Screw with it, if it Works! -USAF Electronic Technician

“If you see a bomb technician running, keep up with him.” -USAF – Ammo Troop

(continue reading…)

“Puppy Power” came to my mind when I saw this photo. Tactical advantage when faced with a female army…