XTREME QUIPS

12. “Hey, Beautiful. What’s a nice girl like you doing waiting in line without bathing for 10 days?”

11. “Your place or my Mom’s?”

10. “I, uh, ummm, I, uh (slaps own forehead) Stupid! STOO-pid!”

9. “You’re even prettier than my fantasy girlfriend.”

8. “I may look like an Ewok, but I’m all Wookie where it counts, baby.”

7. “Date, or date not – there is no ‘let’s just friends be’.”

6. “If you only knew the power of the Dork Side.”

5. “How’s about a long time of Joe, in a bedroom not far away?”

4. “Nice buns, Princess! On your head, that is.”

3. “Honey, you’ve been looking for love in Alderaan places!”

2. “If I said you had a mint first-edition, still-in-box action figure, would you hold it against me?”

1. “I’m gonna be an evil warlord when I grow up. Want a Milk Dud?”

10. Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I’d love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How’d you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pirate pickup line is…

1. Avast! Prepare to be boarded!

You’ve got a lovely pair of W-2’s.

Please, baby, let me withhold you.

Nice assets.

Lady, you make my pants file for an extension.

In my office, I.R.S. stands for I’m Really Sexy.

Let’s fill out a 1040 – you are a 10 and I’m a 40.

If I help you screw Uncle Sam, can I be next?

Technically, having sex with me is like a charitable gift.

You’re entitled to a $5,000 tax break on your municipal bond income… now let’s do it.

You’re the kind of girl I could take home to mother – which is good, since I still live with her.